Hey millionaires… Want to spend $1M on skiing? Here’s how you (and 4 friends!) can have the experience of your lives:
First, purchase a $100,000 Great Canadian Heli Season Gold Pass for you and your four best friends. This entitles you to unlimited heli-skiing at all of the top Canadian spots. My favorite perk that you get with the pass is a personal locker! Not to take away from the value of a locker, but when I’m spending $100,000 on something (as I’m writing this post, it hasn’t happened), it’s funny to see a $20 perk highlighted, bolded, and italicized. “I wasn’t going to get the pass, but then I saw they offered a personal locker! At that point, it was an absolute no brainer!”
Cost: $500,000 (there goes half just like that…amazing how much easier it is to spend it than it is to make it)
A friend doesn’t let a friend drive drunk. Similarly, a friend doesn’t let a friend ski with sub-par equipment – it’s time to hook your buds up with some top-of-the-line shiza:
- Carradan Skis – get four sets of the Mamba at $20k per pair. Carradan boasts a FLEX:2 system to absorb impact, a CRYO:2 process to strengthen the skis, and a Carradan Coriolis Core to reduce warping. That may as well be a foreign language – the most beautiful, exquisite dialect out there.
- Purchase five Swarovski Studded Crystograph Bogner Ski Helmets, as written about by my fellow colleague and actor Shaun Plando.
Getting there: Flying first class is awesome (once again, not speaking from experience). Flying in your own plane is even cooler. Treat your friends to your own private plane, using Marquis Jet, a cool company that sells chunks of time in NetJets planes in 25-hour increments.
With the help of my TI83 Calculator (I challenge anyone to a game of “Worm” or “Falldown” on this calc), it’s clear I have $30 left to spend…
Lastly, there’s no ski trip without a little bit (read: a lotta bit of) of JAGERMEISTER. Warm the innards and recount great stories from the day after hanging out with Jages.
Please note: I don’t believe in the slightest this would be the best use of your discretionary funds.
Things I would rather do with $1M:
- Buy a single-day lift ticket to Squaw and then donate the other $999, 900 to helping curb world poverty (brownie points, ladies?)
- Invest in a “Target Retirement 2050” Roth IRA fund (booooooring)
- Hang out
If you had to spend $1M on skiing or snowboarding, how would you spend it? I will personally send a package filled with Liftopia shwag to the person with the funniest/most creative answer.