Have you ever uttered these words?
“No thanks, no dessert please. I filled up on all that cabbage and kale, and I hate to spoil the meal with apple pie.”
Or heard these words spring from your mouth?
“A goodnight kiss? For me? No thank you. I so enjoyed buying you dinner and tickets to the movie that I feel quite satisfied without one.”
Or how about these words?
“Much as I’d love to use your free ticket to the World Series, I promised myself I’d to brush up on my Latin subjunctive case. So, thanks but no thanks.”
If these scenarios seem unlikely or even insane, then how do you explain the average skier’s attitude toward spring skiing?
“Uh, hi. I’m your average skier. I put up with bitter cold in December, arctic blasts in January and frozen toes in February. But now that there’s warmth in the air and it’s still light at five o’clock, I’m stashing my boots in the attic and hanging up my skis.”
Could that be you? Could it?
Four words: DON’T. BE. THAT. FOOL.
Spring skiing is the dessert of the ski season. Spring skiing is the goodnight kiss of winter. Spring skiing is the home team’s home run. Skiing and riding in March and April (and with a bit of luck, in May and June) is the fun you’ve earned by trudging so diligently through all those dark, cold days.
So, now that spring has sprung, make this your credo: Don’t give up, give in!
Instead of hanging up your skis, pleasure yourself with a run in the sun.
Look around. There’s no snow on the roads (okay, it’s been replaced by frost heaves), the temperature climbs a little higher each day, and every major area in North America is still up and running.
Oh, and that’s not all. You can throw away that by-now disgusting facemask and replace it with sunblock. You can finally clean that smelly down parka and break out the vest. You can finally get enough color in your face to command envy at school or the office.
As if all this weren’t enough, as the sun stays up, prices go down. Lift tickets are cheaper. Hotel rooms are cheaper. Skis and sweaters and boots and poles in the baselodge ski shop are much, much cheaper.
And, because the average skier is no longer thinking snow (“That’s right, I already put away my gear, see?”), all those crowds have made like Frosty the Snowman and disappeared.
What more do you want?
When the warm apple pie is put in front of you, when your date is puckered up, when the sun is shining and your juices are flowing and the snow is waiting — why on earth would you walk away?
Do this instead. Get the boots down, pull the skis out, put the bloody golf clubs away, and start having fun. That’s what spring skiing’s all about. After all, who deserves it more than you?
For a visual taste of spring skiing, check out this minimovie.
No matter what the season, you can chuckle through Jules Older’s ebook on travel misadventures, DEATH BY TARTAR SAUCE: A Travel Writer Encounters Gargantuan Gators, Irksome Offspring, Murderous Mayonnaise & True Love.