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Hey millionaires… Want to spend $1M on skiing?  Here’s how you (and 4 friends!) can have the experience of your lives:

First, purchase a $100,000 Great Canadian Heli Season Gold Pass for you and your four best friends.  This entitles you to unlimited heli-skiing at all of the top Canadian spots.  My favorite perk that you get with the pass is a personal locker!  Not to take away from the value of a locker, but when I’m spending $100,000 on something (as I’m writing this post, it hasn’t happened), it’s funny to see a $20 perk highlighted, bolded, and italicized.  “I wasn’t going to get the pass, but then I saw they offered a personal locker!  At that point, it was an absolute no brainer!”

Cost: $500,000 (there goes half just like that…amazing how much easier it is to spend it than it is to make it)

A friend doesn’t let a friend drive drunk.  Similarly, a friend doesn’t let a friend ski with sub-par equipment – it’s time to hook your buds up with some top-of-the-line shiza:

  1. Carradan Skis – get four sets of the Mamba at $20k per pair.  Carradan boasts a FLEX:2 system to absorb impact, a CRYO:2 process to strengthen the skis, and a Carradan Coriolis Core to reduce warping.  That may as well be a foreign language – the most beautiful, exquisite dialect out there.
    Cost: $100,000
    Millionaires On Skis
  1. Purchase five Swarovski Studded Crystograph Bogner Ski Helmets, as written about by my fellow colleague and actor Shaun Plando.
    Cost: $100,000

Getting there: Flying first class is awesome (once again, not speaking from experience).  Flying in your own plane is even cooler.  Treat your friends to your own private plane, using Marquis Jet, a cool company that sells chunks of time in NetJets planes in 25-hour increments.
Cost: $299,970

Millionaires On Skis

With the help of my TI83 Calculator (I challenge anyone to a game of “Worm” or “Falldown” on this calc), it’s clear I have $30 left to spend…

Lastly, there’s no ski trip without a little bit (read: a lotta bit of) of JAGERMEISTER.  Warm the innards and recount great stories from the day after hanging out with Jages.

Cost: $30

Millionaires On Skis

Please note: I don’t believe in the slightest this would be the best use of your discretionary funds.

Things I would rather do with $1M:

  • Buy a single-day lift ticket to Squaw and then donate the other $999, 900 to helping curb world poverty (brownie points, ladies?)
  • Invest in a “Target Retirement 2050” Roth IRA fund (booooooring)
  • Hang out

If you had to spend $1M on skiing or snowboarding, how would you spend it?  I will personally send a package filled with Liftopia shwag to the person with the funniest/most creative answer.

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  • ecskibum

    I could see the desire in wanting the most expensive skis but I’d rather get me and my friends on other reputable skis (i.e. Rossi, Volkl, Icelantic—more than one pair for each) then spend the money I would’ve spent on Carradan skis on traveling, lift tickets, jackets, pants, goggles and all other accessories I’ll ever need for the rest of my life.

  • Best thirty bucks ever spent!

  • I would buy a small house in Vail…

  • D

    Hilarious.

  • Mac-Dreidel

    I’d live off the interest…that is all…